Assessment

It has been a long time since I last wrote any blog. I would say that this happened not because of lack of intent to write the blog but because of lack of my willingness to sit down and capture the flow of expressions, ideas, emotions or feelings in words. This lack of willingness was not there only in writing the blog but as i reflect i see that it was there in many activities that i undertook but abandoned because of the lack of this will power to proceed beyond a point and take it to the end. This has harmed me in many ways which could have been avoided. The point here is that i should have been more disciplined then i was and should not have let the external environment influence the reason I exactly was here for. The deviation from my goal has come because my being weak and getting influenced by many things which i would not like to revel on a public platform. Though my reasons or logic may not be supported by many but in my head I know that they exist and are true for me.

My weakening is reflected in more than one way. I did not get the kind of grades as i should have and also went on to have a deteriorating state of health which is most undesirable thing to happen to any wise person. Though I have a good understanding of things i believe but the same is not reflected in my grades as the weak health forced me to stay off the class which resulted in losing valuable marks which were up for grabs, for free, just for attending the classes.

Another thing which resulted in lower grades was my hesitation with numbers. I find myself uncomfortable with long and complicated numbers. Had I not feared the numbers and had worked on them systematically in time there would not have been any reason for me to be uncomfortable with the numbers.

Another weakness with me that I find is that I exaggerate things sometimes which people certainly do not like. Though the information dissipated is not wrong but certainly some of them is the castle built on thin air kind.

I am certainly working to improve on these weaknesses of mine. I hope to improve, certainly on few if not all. The first step towards is to discipline my thought process and to structure my thinking in a logical way. The second step would be of execution of these structured thought in to action or to align my existing action to these structured thought process. I, at this point of time do not want to say any thing more than this. I would first like to put these two things in place and hope that many other things will follow suit.